Fell In Like With A Girl

You found me
In the light
At the end
Of the tunnel

Drenched in new church
Pulling bicycle kicks from
My claims to being champion

You asked me if I was a holy man.
I said, “Not anymore.”
“Not anymore,” I said
Now
Now I just pray my heartbeat into better poems
And admire the moon for her perfection

That was ok with you
That was ok

Said you couldn’t imagine
How much perfection it would take
To earn the love of God
So you didn’t imagine God

Your brain worked like that
Always dealing in absolutes
Like gravity and red wine and ketchup

Though neither of us danced
We did around our fears
That night
Researched phobias
Split the firewood in our sides
With the axe of our laughter

When I had to wake up
2 hours after
Our first kiss
Every yawn that followed
Was worth it.

You were worth it.

And I told you I thought
You mumbled halos better
Than any angel wore them.

Told you I saw sunsets in your awkward
Even if you ignored them

And that I knew that you were not broken
You just weren’t standing tall

That’s when you spilled
Your guts like a mostly
Empty water glass
Told me how
Somebody hadn’t caught your heart
When it fell for them
And it broke into pieces
Like scattering schools of fish
Trying to breath life
From those few splattered drops
Left evaporating

I held your hand
Said I was never very good at catching things
But that I would learn
I would get bigger hands
I would try

You sat quite
I wondered what you were feeling

Told me that you kept your feelings
Like state secrets.
You’d have to kill me if you shared them

And then you left

I’d gotten used to the way your fingerprints blurred my vision
So now that you’ve gone, things are coming back into focus
Or something like it
And I am realizing I woke up too fast
Got dizzy
My smile claiming narcolepsy
When asked why it keeps lying down

When that excuse no longer fools anyone
I will blame sushi
Because we never got to
Or the window that stopped your forehead
Before you could gaze down onto the floor
Or Eiffel towers that only serve food from New York

You’re the only one that’ll get that
You’re the only one that has to

And you,
Though you only walked my line
For 8 weeks
You reminded me how much fun life can be


So that night when you decided to go
I tucked a note into the fold of your coat that read

You’ve got to give your heart permission to love again!
And maybe a little wiggle room to grow…
I know that
We’re all runnin’ from something, we just
Don’t have to run alone.